Wednesday, September 10, 2008
The Shelf
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Can You Take the Strong Drink?
SO I am sitting in DD and using the free wifi. It is interesting because I have become a frequent visitor ever since I learned that they had this useful commodity. It is a smart move on their part, because they have coerced me to buy many iced coffees and coolatas in an effort not to feel awkward for sitting there and not buying anything. This is stupid. I should not have to feel obligated to buy something just because I am there. However, it is the only place in Whorenell that has readily accessible wifi. It is also air-conditioned; a useful thing in these hot months. The bathrooms are usually neat and tidy, and have a pleasant albeit over-powering air freshner that embraces you while you sit. The soap is dispensed in a delighfully foamy manner that makes it effortless to wash soiled hands. The floor is so clean you can eat on it, although why you would want to I don't know. For your convenience, a little plastic high chair sits in the corner; stupid teens like to see if they can cram their big butts into it. They have, in recent years, increased their line of merchandise to some rather expensive but tasty morsels, such as the southwest chicken flatbread sandwich. This is all hearsay of course because I try not to spend over three dollars when I visit. When I finally settle in to peruse some sites, it is not uncommon for the system to decide that it wants to be fickle and not let me on for fifteen minutes. Then I sit and laugh when it finally does, because other patrons come in and ask if my internet is working. Stupid fools! The employees carry about their business with mindless chatter about nothing, and it is very interesting to make conjecture about their lifestyles.Monday, May 26, 2008
In Bed With Amanda

Three D's and a C... Ok that is a topic that DOESN'T need discussing. Don't ask, but if you HAVE to know use your imagination.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
This Day
This day, I wanted to run out of the room; but afraid of looking and feeling like a freak, I stayed.
The poetry syllabus for the last half of the semester was a compilation of student selected literary works.
The poem is read by the student, and then dissected piece by piece into manageable sections by content, literary devices, and context – not necessarily in that order.
My experience as a reader has taught me that poems have the ability to inspire and resonate within a person, strangely like lyrics to a song or a sad movie.
As I sat there, I became ever so increasingly agitated. My hands were shaking, and I my face was igniting from my throat up. He just kept talking, talking on and on in that peculiar, odd way of his that classmates snickered at. His thorough analyzing of the metaphors is what got me. Finally, he finished. The last section of the poem is positive he says. He references the sun shining and the new grass.
Does anyone else have anything to add? Loud spoken girl that has answered every question all semester, never having an accurate interpretation: “It could be construed as imagery alluding to birth and the birthing process.” She proceeds to ramble like an idiot, sucking up to the professor for a grade.
I had had enough.
“No, it’s not. It is not positive, and it is not talking about birth.”
Everyone is taken aback at my blunt statement of contradiction.
“My brother drowned in a ravine two years ago, and when the author is talking about the sun shining and the grass growing, it is because it indicates that time moves just as nature and the seasons. The dream sails in the next stanza represent all the dreams that a mother has for her children, of succeeding, living life to the full, and having enjoyment in her children’s children; they all collapsed at that moment. In no way is this positive.” I did not bother to addresses the others ridiculous statements.
The professor tried to salvage the moment by saying that birth and death are cyclical and some other babble that was lost on me.
DEATH OF A YOUNG SON BY DROWNING
He, who navigated with success
the dangerous river of his own birth
once more set forth
on a voyage of discovery
into the land I floated on
but could not touch to claim.
His feet slid on the bank,
the currents took him;
he swirled with ice and trees in the swollen water
and plunged into distant regions,
his head a bathysphere;
through his eyes' thin glass bubbles
he looked out, reckless adventurer
on a landscape stranger than Uranus
we have all been to and some remember.
There was an accident; the air locked,
he was hung in the river like a heart.
They retrieved the swamped body,
cairn of my plans and future charts,
with poles and hooks
from among the nudging logs.
It was spring, the sun kept shining, the new grass
leapt to solidity;
my hands glistened with details.
After the long trip I was tired of waves.
My foot hit rock. The dreamed sails
collapsed, ragged.
I planted him in this country
like a flag.
By Margaret Atwood
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
- Find someone you like. Make contact. Start a conversation.
- Talk about yourself, and encourage them to talk about themselves.
- When they say something impressive, begin expressing romantic interest.
- On a date don't act like you are in kindergarten. Make eye contact and compliment him or her. Be nice. Act like the world was made for you two.
- Be friendly! If you're mean, they will lose interest in you.
- Give the person some space - nobody likes a stalker --cough cough
- When starting a conversation, have something in mind that you want to talk about - ice breakers like "Hey what's up?" or "What are you drinking" are big losers.
- Don't swear, pick your nose, spit, or engage in other obnoxious behaviors. Crude behavior may eventually be tolerated by your date, but it will never be appreciated.
- You may wish to ask a friend to help out if you are a nervous.
- Repeat steps 1-9 with the next person!
Things You'll Need
Ice breakers or mints (garlic breath can be noxious)
Money (optional, that's what's great about bein a girl!)
proper clothes


